Broadening My Horizons

That’s right, I’m trying to branch out. I recently applied to write for a blog called Korked Bats. It was started by a couple guys who graduated from Mizzou and my roommate’s brother recently started writing for them. He encouraged me to apply, so I decided to give it a go.
It’s a sports blog. Combines sports and humor. I love sports and I’ve got a great sense of humor, but it’ll be interesting to see if I can really blend the two together. My hard-hitting sports analysis and my stellar sense of humor need to work together. It’s a challenge.
Of course, I don’t need to worry about that if they read my application and hate it. They haven’t responded yet, so I can only assume they didn’t like it. But here’s what I sent in:

How will the Albert Pujols saga shake out?

So as of noon on February 16, the Albert Pujols “deadline” has passed. The Cardinals’ slugger will not sign a deal with St. Louis before they begin spring training, meaning he will become a free agent this fall. So now, the question that will hang over the Cardinals’ 2011 season will be this: how will the Albert Pujols saga shake out? Obviously there are 30 possibilities, if you assume any team in Major League Baseball could sign him. But I’ll give you a few different possibilities.

The Albert Pujols Decision Special
o Pujols will wait until the 2011 World Series wraps up, then will begin entertaining offers from other teams – he won’t go to them; he will wait for them to come to him. Then, after two or three straight days of different teams courting him, Pujols and Manny Ramirez will decide to team up with Andrew McCutcheon in Pittsburgh to form baseball’s own “Big Three.” At the end of his one-hour decision special, he will say, “I’m gonna take my talents where they haven’t had any in years.”
The Brett Favre Route
o Pujols starts by threatening retirement if the Cards don’t meet his demands. St. Louis thinks he’s bluffing and sticks to their guns. Pujols isn’t bluffing. He retires. St. Louis gets a stud first baseman in the draft who will eventually lead the organization to a championship and be the best in the game. But once he thinks he’ll have his chance, Pujols un-retires because of his “love of the game.” This happens two or three times, then the Cards tell Albert to shove it. He plays three more seasons – two with a hated division rival – and retires for real after a serious injury.
The Best Way to Get Money
o Pujols isn’t getting what he wants from St. Louis even after another stellar season. He never went to college, so he decides he’ll give D-1 baseball a try. Gene Chizik takes over the Auburn baseball program, does some great “recruiting” and Pujols heads down to Alabama for a year. He leads the Tigers to a national title amid swirling “pay for play” allegations. He knows the truth, so he bails on Auburn after a season and returns to the majors.
The Deion Sanders Way
o The Cardinals decide they can’t afford to keep Pujols, but they want to add another star to the line-up. They decide to swap athlete-for-athlete…they end the Carmelo Anthony saga. Melo heads to spring training and Albert leads the Nuggets to an eventual playoff series loss, leaving Nuggets fans everywhere thinking nothing has changed.

How do I really want it to shake out? I want the Reds to sign Pujols and have him ride the pine pony while Joey Votto rolls to another MVP. I guess we will have to wait and see.
And I will keep you posted on what Korked Bats thinks of me. But check them out even if I don’t write for them. Maybe if I plug them here, they’ll feel bad and decide to let me on.
Would you pick me to write for your blog? Leave comments of support. I’m sure the opinions of the ten people who read this blog will sway them. Thanks in advance.

Carpe Diem.
Altiora.

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~ by nchaney3 on February 22, 2011.

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